Saturday, May 19, 2007

Don't bump yourself off!!! Live your life...

Suicides. Why do people commit suicide? What can we do to at least try and minimize, and maybe even eliminate the occurrences of suicide? These are the questions that came to mind when I read a newspaper article on the recent spate of suicides in Mumbai.

It’s a topic I’ve thought about, at times. But as I considered writing about suicide, I thought I needed to be a little more objective about it and I hope this post will do justice to my thoughts and views as well as to those who are driven to commit this act.

Ever heard of the proverbs - “Think before you act” or “Look before you leap”? Well, I am sure that most people who commit suicide must not have either heard or understood the meaning behind the two.

Murder is universally accepted as a heinous crime. All of us feel that the perpetrators of such a crime must be punished in the severest possible way.
If intentionally harming/killing someone is a crime, then putting an end to one’s own life is as much of a crime; there’s no escape from this truth.

People resort to suicide as a solution to their problems, or rather the end of a life ridden with obstacles. But is it truly a solution?
NEVER. No one on this earth leads a problem-free life. If we don’t face any trials and tribulations in life, then it’d be like a sugar-cane with no juice ;-)
We all face different obstacles and challenges in different stages of our lives. Life is all about how we learn to cope with these and still live happily. What value would happiness have if we are always happy? We’d lose the excitement and enthusiasm of being happy if we’re happy all the time.

Suicide is not a solution. In fact, it raises more questions than it answers. The pain, anguish and grief that the family goes through if a member commits suicide cannot be put in words. Have the people who commit suicide ever thought what would become of their bereaved family, their dearest friends? If they do think about such things, they’d never be inclined to commit suicide. It’d only steel their resolve to do better, to excel and not run away in the face of an obstacle.

If you feel suicidal, ask yourself thus - is a failed exam, stress/prejudice against you at work, a failed affair/marriage, a spurned proposal or some such situation worth my life? If your answer is “No” to at least one of these questions, then read on, otherwise this article is not for you.

If a student fails an exam, he’d b naturally disappointed, maybe even afraid of facing his/her parents. But, trust me, any parent would rather see his child fail in every exam he/she ever wrote than the body of his precious son/daughter hanging from a piece of rope or lying in a pool of blood. The best way out is to go home, apologize to your parents and resolve to work harder next time.

Some students resort to suicide even before the exams commence, especially the Std X and Std XII students. I understand that they face extreme pressure on all fronts and even if they have supportive parents, the super-competitive scenario today does not let them breathe easy even for a moment. Relax. You have your space in this world. You may not make a million dollars a month but remember you are worth more than that to a lot of people. Stay. Live for them, if not for yourself.

Workplace politics are extremely common. Everyone wants to reach the top, and fast. What can you do? Be patient and wait. Your turn to shine will come too. There’s someone up there watching us all. He’ll definitely give you what you deserve even if your boss doesn’t.

A failed relationship drives many to depression. But there are solutions/alternatives to come out of your sorry state, only if you want to ;-). Meet up with friends or go for outings with close family members, and if you want nothing but some time alone, then treat yourself – go out shopping, listen to some good music, watch good movies; do anything but keep yourself engaged, don’t brood over the relationship/accuse yourself for being the cause behind the break-up. Get over it. God’s definitely got something better in store for you.

I had a highly prejudiced view of people who committed suicide. I thought they are heartless and selfish cowards. But, while writing this post, I have earnestly tried to look into possibilities that may drive them to it as well as suggested plausible solutions. I’ve also realized that nothing is purely white or black. There’s a grey everywhere J

Live your life to the fullest when you can! Who knows, you may never get another chance to live. So, celebrate your life!

Here’s a toast to life itself!!!

19 comments:

Vivek said...

Cheers to that! You have said much, and I have no more to add. You are in the wrong profession, Paati!

Kavita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kavita said...

Hi Maya. Excellent. A very mature and truly empathetic approach. I'm proud of you. You'll make an excellent Mom. Hope you dont mind me saying that! Do write back and let me know. Take care and keep up the good work.

Roopali said...

Hey maya tht's a great one coming from u!
Surely people who commit sucide to escape the tensions of SSC and HSC should learn something from those students who don even have the basic necessities of life but still attend night schools and somehow work hard and make their parents proud inspite of all adversities,that's a thing to be applauded!
And even if one fails is it the end of the road?certainly not.You can take the example of Bill Gates a college drop out if he had been dejected from life at his very first failure would we ever come across anything as big as microsoft?
And as u say nothing is as precious as life so one should live it to the fullest!

Mahesh said...

Hey Maya..nice post..Your views are very true..people should understand the value and meaning of life. whenever a person is depressed, people close to him/her should be sensitive to it and try help them overcome it. it could either be by counselling, boosting their morale, help them believe in themselves and if it's very severe, then taking the help of a psychiatrist would be apt. it is simply the question of overcoming that momentary anxiety and after that things become okay. parents have a crucial role to play. and yes, people should learn to accept failures in life. after all, failure is the stepping stone to success!!!

Unknown said...

Hey Maya!
Our views definately match in this regard. Theres a saying that goes ' You mite be just one prson in this world but to one person you mean the world.' We cannot be selfish enough to not think about that person to whom we mean the world. We do not have the right to steal this Pleasure especially from the ones who unconditionally love you for all that you are.
But I guess people fail to realise some things.

BTW did you know Maya, that it requires great courage & determination to commit sucide. If they only used have the courage and determination, they could as well tackle the problem!

Deepti said...

Extremely practically written article maya.....
A commendable feat how u could pen down ur thoughts and emotions taking into account the perspective of the persons' relatives and friends

the_jackal said...

Perfect mayo... very well articulated... U kno wat... I have always considered the people who commit suicide to be the bravest souls & the most cowardly mortals..
interesting oxymoron but definitely true....
U need balls to do something so stupid.... and u need to be highly stupid to give up so easily.. Nitya is bang on target here...
I think its a matter of self-identity more than anything else..
If u find society's opinion to be so important to ur existence, then probably ur life is not worth living at all!!

Maya said...

@Vivek: I am honoured.And please,I maybe in the wrong profession alright but you are the one brilliant at writing!

@Kavita: Thank you so much.There's nothing more I can ask,considering the fact that the compliments are from a mother herself!Am flying high,thanks to you:-)

@Roops,Mahesh : You both are absolutely right.Not just Bill Gates,Stephen Hawking(paralysis),Tom Cruise(dyslexia) are some of the innumerable who have made it to the top despite all odds.

@Deepti : Thank you for taking time out to comment.

@Nitya,Rajesh : Of course,I agree that people who commit suicide do have courage but as you both put it,if they had as much courage,they might as well give their lives a deserving chance!

Vivek said...

would appreciate ur comment on this one. It's an old piece, but pertinent to the issue at hand

http://vivek-d-reddy.blogspot.com/2006/02/why-easy-way-out.html

Vivek said...

Why the easy way out?

The Devil's Paradise....... said...

havee been unfortunate to have been in a suicidal mind once.... a frnd's....
and i have always wondered....
its sometimes more the will to give up living in search of something better, rather then the urge to fight wht is in hand and come out shining tht drives ppl to such extereme madness....... and the worst part is the absence of help.... which is sheer apathy towards ppl who have highly suggestable minds......
high time society ends the apathy towards ppl with differential abilities........ cause if u see most of the cases are of ppl who suffered from some kind of disorder.... and for those seemingly normal and cheerful ones........ god better save their their soul.........

Aarti Ramanan said...

Hey Maya,
Sorry for the delay in commenting. Cannot access blogs from office.

Really nice piece, once again...
Truly, those who commit suicide are the most insensitive people ever on earth. Sometimes, it even happens that people give up their lives just to hurt their dear ones whom they have just had a tiff with. But is it worth it? Giving up one's life for mere frustration? What about all those happy moments life has given you? No one treats life when life treats you. But people do tend to end it up very promptly when it doesn't.

You do choose great topics to write.

aditya said...

I completely agree with Nitya and Shreedhar. Not having someone to talk to about your problems could be one of the major reasons. It only precipitates with a sense of disillusionment in oneself and a persecution mania. If one really knew how precious one's life was to others, suicide would never be the "way out"!

Unknown said...

hey maya,very well written....excellent post..one of ur best...i
personally feel if any person is really depressed abt anything the first
thing he shud do is to confide in someone he trusts..and it wud be the
other person's responsibility to bring him out of his depression....keep up
the good work dear

Swapna said...

really commendable,your choice of topic for the post.
well written. you have covered every possible aspect. wat remains is to appreciate the post. :-)

The Devil's Paradise....... said...

ring tring.. new post..

Phani said...

how true. its such a desperate and selfish act is this suicide. the person committing it doesn't ponder for a moment how the people for whom he is dear.

Unknown said...

Hello! I am not a teen, but a 49 year old adult who wanted only to make my life better with also pleasing my family who I found out is unfortunately the type who wouldnt care if I was found in the bottom of a river in a plastic bag because they were caught spying on me as an adult and probably dont want to be known as sex offenders to destroy their reputation of snobs. I on the other hand am free and clear of anything that would destroy my selfesteem on my own and have alot to live for.