Are parents a burden?

The Central Govt - proposed “Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Bill, 2007” comes up for hearing in the Lok Sabha this coming Tuesday. The bill proposes imprisonment of up to 3 months and Rs.5000 as fine for defaulters, i.e., those who fail to take care of their aged parents.

But will this deter people from ill-treating their parents or leaving them to fend for themselves in their old age? Physical punishments/torture is not known to have reformed too many people, no matter what the crime. Then how effective will this bill be?

No one can/must be forced to do something against their wishes. Things that are not done wilfully and from the heart will never do any good to anyone.

The case in point here is that if children are “forced” by the law to take care of their parents, some or many may do so just to abide by the law and not because of real love, care and affection towards their parents. Such forcible care will provide no pleasure either to the elders or the ones that are forced into providing it. A much better option would be for the old parent(s) to stay in an elders’ home or such similar setting than living like a dog in the so-called “care” of their children.

In today’s scenario, everyone faces extreme competition in every field and they have no time in their busy schedules for their aged parents. Still, we don’t hear them complain. A majority of them (our elders) try to keep themselves engaged playing with their grandchildren, listening to their favourite music or spending time with their spouse. But, for many, their parents are just like ‘ayahs’ – only that they come free of cost and will take good care of their child(ren). (I don’t intend to say that all are like that, but some definitely are.) Are such children actually taking care of their parents or using them to meet their own selfish ends?
It’ll do us all a lot of good to remember that “What goes around comes around”. Some years down the line, we all will face the same situations that our parents are facing today.

What our parents need in their old age is what we’ve got from them in our infancy and childhood – care, love, respect, understanding and a little bit of our time. I know it sounds clichéd but it’s true that all aged people, be it our parents or grandparents, crave only for a small amount of our time. At their age, money is hardly of any importance or priority in their lives.

Are they a burden on us? True, as some say, they may pass comments or advise us on our personal life. But this “personal life” is something they gave us, remember? Listen to your parents. If you don’t want, then don’t do everything as they say. This is a win-win for both – the parents are happy their child heard them out and for the child, he’s made his parents happy but can still choose his own path. (In case they are upset, then you can explain later as to why you didn’t do everything as they said).

A few simple questions to ask yourself - Can’t we do anything for 2 people who have given us everything, to whom we owe our birth, our very existence, our education, stature and life, and many more things that words cannot express? Can’t we even stand by them, love them, care for and support them in their hour of need? Only your conscience can answer this.